Why people date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded subject that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since millennium. Affairs can be burdened with evils, cause heartache, and other problems. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, money, age difference, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I will define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married men.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anyone else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his female for a large humber of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair